Roller coaster life

I know, I know, it's been a while since my last visit to blogland, and even longer since I last posted. I honestly had every intention to be back here sooner, but somehow life, and the curveballs it continues to throw, kept getting in the way. Lately there simply don't seem to be enough hours in a day - as if time has shrunk in the wash - and there definitely doesn't seem to be enough space in my head either.

But here I am, determined that this post shall be written, no matter what. 

However, before I plunge headlong into April (yes, I am that far behind), I would like to put things straight about Jos's chemotherapy journey. If my last post gave the impression that all is smooth sailing for him, I'm afraid nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, I think he's got all the side-effects on offer, and then some, which start kicking in when, after about a week, the cortisone-like medicine he is given during the first couple of days have stopped working their magic. Sadly, then it's hello to utter fatigue, complete loss of appetite and sudden drops in blood pressure, which make getting up on his feet quite the hazard.

We were in the thick of such an episode when the Easter weekend rolled along, so that we could kiss goodbye to doing anything involving the two of us.

Instead I had a long overdue hairdresser's appointment on Friday. Those of you who have been following me for a while might remember that Michel, my trusted hairdresser of over 30 years, was due to retire at the end of last year, which meant that I was in a bit of pickle! But fear not! I've found a worthy replacement in Mitte, who works at a salon called Hairspace, which happens to be just a couple of minutes' walk from my front door. What's more, during our first appointment we found out that I actually knew her Mum, who is the lady who always buys loads of stuff from my flea market stall!

The other thing I did was making a start with my seasonal wardrobe exchange. While I was putting away my warmest Winter things, I realized with a jolt that I still had lots of December outfits which were languishing unused in my photo folder. Now wouldn't it be an utter shame to let them go to waste?

Although it does feel a bit weird posting these when the temperature effortlessly reaches the mid-twenties!

Oh, and another thing which happened in December was this parcel of joy which was sent to me by the lovely Gisela (who blogs under Miss Magpie's Musings). She'd been having a clear out and thought I might like these brooches. And I like them very much indeed! Thank you so much, darling!

If the weather had been neither here nor there during the Easter break, the weather gods did their utmost to make up for their faux pas the next week. 

Thankfully, things were rather quiet at the office, allowing me the luxury to walk to Antwerp's small but perfectly formed Botanic Garden. At only a 10-minute walk from my office, it simply beggars belief that I hadn't been there for the better part of a year!

I was utterly charmed by this sunlit host of dog's tooth violets (Erythronium), which happen to be one of my favourite Spring flowers.

The garden, affectionately know to the people of Antwerp as Den Botaniek, is a landscaped botanical garden dating back to 1825, covers an area of slighty ​​less than one hectare and has a collection of approximately 2000 plants.  It's a joy to pass some time here whatever the season and it's a favourite place for the city's office workers and students to have their lunch breaks whenever the weather allows.

The weather even allowed the making of outfit photos when I got home that afternoon, when Jos was feeling well enough to do the honours. 

My skirt is an old wardrobe stalwart, found at Think Twice back in the mists of time, while the spotty denim blouse was a charity shop find almost exactly one year ago. The belt and boots were bought on the high street.

If I remember correctly, the carved wooden brooch was a flea market find, but I definitely know for certain where I picked up the multicoloured beaded necklace, as I picked it up from the charity shop in Poperinge while on holiday in Belgium's west country in September 2019.

With the meteorological deities still playing nicely, my next lunch break saw me venture along the Meir, Antwerp's main shopping thoroughfare. Although my ultimate destination was elsewhere, I did nip into one of the Think Twice shops which happens to be conveniently located in a side street. This red, black and white patterned skirt came home with me.

I was on my way to the Wapper, an elongated square leading off the Meir. Since 1980, the square was home to a fountain featuring the sculpture of an eagle catching a fish, by the Danish sculptor Hugo Liisberg (1898 - 1958) and dating from 1931. The concrete plinth it was standing on was designed by my Dad as part of his job as a joiner in a concrete factory. It's been known to us as Dad's fountain ever since! 

Although I was aware of the fact that the square would be redesigned at some point, it still came as a shock to see the photo of the sculpture being removed while I was scrolling through Facebook. By the time of my lunch break investigations, the plinth was gone as well. And while I suspect that the sculpture will one day find its way into the Middelheim collection, it's almost a given that the plinth will have ended up on the scrap heap :-( 

And then another Friday rolled along, which started with an early morning check-up at the dentist. As Jos didn't feel well enough to drive me all the way to the nearby town of Boom, this involved taking a bus which, basically serving the local schools, only runs early mornings and late afternoons. This meant that, after my check-up, I needed to take two buses, with a long wait in between, to get back home.

Thankfully, Jos was able to pick me up half-way, at the charity shop in one of our neighbouring villages. Obviously, it would have been rude not to have a quick browse, which yielded this gorgeous flower meadow of a blouse.

But that wasn't my only treat that day! Back at home, we had a visit from our neighbours, who'd bought me this brooch as a thank you for looking after their cats Bob, Billie and Pip while they were on a break in Valencia. 

Lately, in lieu of our customary cappuccino catch-ups, I've been meeting up with my friend Inez for drinks on Saturday afternoons. 

That Saturday, with the temperature rumoured to reach the low twenties, I'd plucked this dream of a vintage blouse from one of my flea market boxes. It always was a bit tight in the chest area, so I was surprised that it suddenly fit me like a glove. Although I've never owned scales, it was clear to me that I've lost weight. One of the perks of living in stressful times, although I would rather not be having to live through them.

The caramel coloured pleated velvet skirt was last's year charity shop find. The charity shops also supplied the stretchy belt, necklace and ring. The cat brooch is from Katshop - a local Antwerp shop catering for both cats and their servants (linkin' cause I love).

Anyway, Inez had brought with her a new photographer in the form of a tripod, so that I no longer need to depend on Jos for outfit photos.

As you can see, it has been approved by quality control (on the left in the tripod photo).

Thank you for reading. I promise to come and visit your blogs soon!

Life goes on

 After a week's delay, Jos finally got green light for his second course of chemotherapy on Thursday the 26th of March. During the procedure, which generally takes about three hours in total, I kept him company with my current read and enjoyed a free cup of coffee in the lounge provided for patients and their families.

No chance of sitting outside in the courtyard as the sunny spell was very short-lived, the sky reverting to granite grey mere minutes after I'd taken this photo. The eagle-eyed among you may notice the wet paving stones outside, the result of the rain we'd started the day with.

As we were out of bread, I went to buy a loaf in the tiny supermarket in the lobby and, with Easter virtually on our doorstep, treated us to half a kilo of scrumptious chocolate mini eggs in the on-site Leonidas shop.

With Jos's appetite having made a temporary come-back, it didn't take very long to get to the bottom of this bowl. 

That evening, Jos declared a craving for frietjes van de frituur, meaning Belgian (not French!) fries bought from that most traditional of Belgian institutions, the frituur, as ubiquitous as the British chip shop. With one of these virtually around the corner from Dove Cottage, that was our evening meal sorted.

In the next couple of days Jos was feeling quite energetic and, just like during his first round of chemotherapy, didn't suffer from any side-effects to speak of. Apparently, this is due to the cortisone-like medicine which he is given before and after chemotherapy to prevent nausea and which has the welcome side-effect of giving some lucky people an energy boost.

We knew it wouldn't last, so we decided to make the most of it. If only the weather gods had been better behaved!

We woke up to overnight frost on Saturday and the forecast wasn't looking very promising. Spring was dragging her heels and, with a chilly wind blowing and the mercury refusing to let go of the single digit temperatures, Jos drove me to the local charity shop for a rummage in the afternoon. Meanwhile, he took the car for a spin, finishing with a non-alcoholic beer at his favourite village café.

Contrary to their colleagues of the weather department, the gods of the charity shops were on their best behaviour and finds were plentiful.

For starters, these two skirts ended up in my shopping basket. The red one with its brown and white garland pattern is handmade from a sturdy cotton, lined, and perfect in every way except, alas, for a lack of pockets. I'm actually wearing it as I type.

The red, white and blue leaves and berries patterned A-line skirt is by King Louie.

There were dresses galore, and from the armful I took into the fitting rooms these three have joined my wardrobe. The embroidered chambray knee-length dress is from C&A, the red and white striped maxi from H&M and the black floral with the odd bird maxi from Vero Moda.

Finally, I fell head over heels for these two very different blouses. 

As I am partial to a bird pattern, the green flamingo patterned one was a no brainer. Same as the black floral maxi, it's from the Danish Vera Moda label.

The blue short-sleeved blouse with its sprinkling of red, orange, green and white dots is label-less and has every indication of having been handmade.

As we are no longer in the habit of making outfit photos, we cleanly forgot to do so that day.  However, here you can catch the briefest of glimpses of my rust coloured opaques, orange socks and my stripy vintage skirt (this one!). 

But I'm sure you only have eyes for Queen Bess of Dove Cottage!

We woke up to a repeat of Saturday's weather on Sunday, although the clouds did make way for the odd patch of blue sky.

With the temperature still not having caught up with the season, I pulled this thick knit zipper front King Louie dress from my wardrobe. Charity shopped back in September, this was actually its first outing, for which it was joined by a contrasting mustard cardigan. As the latter is buttonless, I pinned a green-hearted brooch to its collar to keep it closed. Teal opaques, an old pair of tan boots, a mustard beaded necklace and chunky yellow ring completed my outfit.

As it looked set to remain dry, I persuaded Jos to go for a long-overdue walk, for which we drove to the park in one of our neighbouring villages, Duffel. However, he looked quite doubtful when I uttered the words "15-minute walk", protesting that he'd probably only make it to the first available bench.

Much to our mutual surprise, he just kept on going - that's him in the distance in the top left photo of the above collage - and insisted on continuing around the park's biggest pond.

All in all, we walked for over half an hour, sampling the sensory delights of Spring, which seemed to have arrived regardless of us being otherwise occupied. 

Surely, this host of daffodils, tiny as it is, must be Spring personified, the ultimate symbol of new beginnings. 

Additionally it's also the symbol of cancer charities in many countries ...

Thank you for reading. I hope to be back soon!

As time goes by

I know it's been a while but believe me when I say that my absence from Blogland wasn't in any way intentional. In fact, I've lost count of the times when I woke up, determined to virtually put pen to paper that day, only for it to go pear shaped as, when push came to shove, by the end of the day time seemed to have evaporated into thin air. 

My 10th Blogiversary on the 5th of March, which was supposed to be a red letter day, came and went, with only the briefest of mentions on my Instagram. On one of the rare occasions when we managed to take outfit photos, I happened to be wearing a vintage Crimplene dress from the Finnish Karelia label which I was wearing in one of my very first blog posts back in March 2016.

Funnily enough, I seem to be wearing the same colour of tights - perhaps even the same pair - but I haven't worn the jacket nor the beret in a very long time. I might still have the shoes rattling around somewhere at the bottom of my wardrobe, but I know for a fact that I sold the handbag. 

The post in question, which you can find here, was called A Walk in the Park, which I can assure you cannot be said of life at Dove Cottage at the moment.

To give you a short update, just under a week after his first chemotherapy session Jos started having side effects, notably utter fatigue and complete lost of appetite. If that wasn't bad enough, he also suffered from an alarming drop in blood pressure whenever he got up on his feet. We now know that this too is to be blamed on chemotherapy, but it definitely didn't help that he wasn't eating and drinking nearly enough. The combined result of this was that at one point we ended up in A&E after he'd had a fall - thankfully nothing too serious apart from his face looking like he'd been in a fight - and that his next chemotherapy session got postponed by a week as he needed to get stronger first. I'm not joking when I tell you he was actually prescribed an unhealthy diet involving lots of sugar and salt! 

Now, without further ado, here are some of the things I've been up to since I last posted all of six (eek!) weeks ago.

I've been reading, although admittedly nothing too taxing for my constantly muddled brain.

And I've been wearing clothes, obviously, making the effort to carefully put together outfits like I've always done, even if most of them do not make it onto my camera roll.

Here I am wearing a beloved cord skirt bought on the high street in November 2023, combined with a vintage Diolen C&A blouse I picked up from Think Twice a couple of weeks later.

This black floral A-line dress, which has been in my wardrobe for what feels like forever, was a Think Twice find as well, while my long pink cardigan is from Mango via the charity shops. The gods of the charity shops also gifted me with the green boots back in December 2021. A holy grail if ever there was one.

My lunch breaks rarely take me to Think Twice like they used to, but I gladly made an exception for a cappuccino catch-up with my dearest friend Inez. As the shop had just started one of their famous sales, it would have been a crime not to have a quick look. Priced at a silly € 4,20, this Norwegian style jumper was a no-brainer.

I wore it on a bitterly cold Saturday a couple of days later, combined with an electric blue new wool vintage skirt I'd found back in December and a charity shopped half-elasticated suede belt.

Speaking of charity shops, it boggles my mind to think I've so far only been for a rummage twice this year. However, that day I decided to walk to our most local shop, which is just over a kilometer from Dove Cottage.

I was rewarded for my efforts with this gorgeous Zara jumper, which Kezzie declared to be very Anne of Green Gables when I sent her a photo. I'd been trying in vain to take a decent mirror selfie but had to admit defeat and ask a fellow shopper for help :-)

Any walks have been largely solo affairs, one of which took me to a local park, where the sight of a sea of wood anemones gladdened my heart and put a spring in my step. 

Even so, it truly beggars belief that Spring is once again upon us, and that life goes on even if I haven't felt particularly part of it these last couple of months.

Another day found me taking the bus to our neighbouring village of Edegem for a stroll at Hof ter Linden. 

Here I was, lost in thought and very much minding my own business, when much to our mutual delight I ran into our friends Ingrid and Luc.

We spent half an hour or so sitting and talking on a sun-drenched bench before continuing our respective walks.  It was so good to see them!

Before I bid you goodbye for now - with a promise not to leave it that long this time - here's a view across the lake to the castle, which is currently in the final stages of restoration.

Hope to be back soon!

It's time the tale were told

Oh dear, I can't believe it's been almost a month that I last put in an appearance here. I'm sure my continuing absence from blogland has got some of you worried, but in spite of my best intentions I haven't been able to summon up the energy to virtually put pen to paper and post another update.

Things have taken a turn for the worse, you see. When we went to the hospital for a  follow-up appointment on the 4th of February - a rare sunny day, and coincidentally our 31st wedding anniversary - we were given some devastating news which needless to say has knocked us both for six.

When Jos was hospitalized back in January, a routine test revealed some fluid around his lungs in which some atypical cells were discovered. He thereupon got keyhole surgery during which some lung tissue was taken for further testing.

Unfortunately, the biopsy results showed that he's got mesothelioma or asbestos-related cancer. It's still in the very early stages, so that he's eligible for chemotherapy, eventually followed by complex surgery which, if all goes well, is expected to take place somewhere in June.

Hardly a day goes by without another worry to add to our load and it feels as if our lives are no longer our own. But some days are better than others and on the better ones we are determined not to lose hope.

My wise friend Sheila has told me that self-care isn't selfish, which I'm adopting as my motto. As part of my self-care package I am mentally preparing for my return to blogland, although I suspect I won't be able to be around as much as I used to. 

However, with my 10th Blogiversary coming up in March - where did that time go? - it would be a shame to call it a day.

Hope to be joining you again soon!

A little update

 Although I won't be returning to blogland just yet, I thought I'd drop in and give you an update on how Jos is doing.

But first things first. I would like to thank those of you who left such heartwarming comments on my previous post and those of you who kindly checked in with me through private messages.

After having spent 3 weeks in hospital during which he had surgery, Jos was finally allowed to come home last Wednesday. He's still got a way to go before he'll be back on his feet so we're taking it day by day, cherishing every step into the right direction.

Time has been unhurried but relentless, and it's truly mind-boggling that most of January has come and gone while we've been living this half-life which feels light years away from the one we used to live before our world came tumbling down.

Thankfully I had the pleasure of Bess's company while Jos was in hospital. 

She insisted on sleeping with me all night demanding cuddles and purring loudly whenever she thought I was awake. And I definitely lay awake worrying most nights, particularly during those first couple of weeks.

Obviously no outfit photos were taken - unless you count the one of me wearing pyjamas - although I promise you I did manage to dress up on most days, even if I did accessorize only sparingly and my make-up routine went out of the window.

The photos accompanying this post were taken in our back garden during the cold snap we had a couple of weeks ago or while running errands in our village.

Meanwhile, and much to Bess's joy, it's the return of the hospital bed ...

I'm desperately missing my blogging friends so I'm hoping to return soon. After all, there's still that December backlog to catch up on.